June 2015

Mike Salk Quote From Radio Show
Posted by DaddyO on 06/29/15
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Here's the quote from a Brock and Salk segment discussing whether or not it is fair to blame Jack Zduriencik for the offensive failures of this team: (Context) The point is being discussed that so many players are hitting well below their career averages. "I'm not sure I can blame Jack Zduriencik for all of those things," Salk said. "I can't blame him because Robbie Cano is hitting that far below his career average. There is an element that is on a player or on the manager to get something out of that player where he's got to find a way to hit at his career average. It's not entirely up to a... Read More
Did we really need to hear this M's shtick twice
Posted by jemanji on 06/29/15
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. Grizzle tapes on the tinfoil for this morning's festivities: I'm with you, Matt. But it runs far deeper than just the guys calling the shots with respect to player development. There was, to my recollection, a fairly complete turnover of those folks that came in the seasons after Jack was hired, with no real improvement. The minors are churning out pitchers, but then the M's minors have been pretty good at that for quite a while. I would clean house in the organization, top to bottom. There is some kind of cancer gnawing at the bowels of this organization and it's going to be tough to get... Read More
Solution seems simple enough. Let them eat cake
Posted by jemanji on 06/28/15
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. Sunday afternoon, some left hand sidearm b'wana was throwing bullets for the Angels.  Lloyd, properly, set the Mariners up to punish said lefty by deploying Franklin Gutierrez and Nelson Cruz to counter.   In some inning or other -- if you tell me you care, you can have the keys to the taco stand -- Guti and Cruz launched a pair of consecutive heat-seeking missiles, sandwiched around a $25M walk.  Felix was ahead in the game 1-0, AND runners at the corners, 1 out.  Croissant and marmalade.  mmmmmmm Felix and a lead.  No way to botch this one. But something was going to happen, something... Read More
Therein lies a tale. Gather ye round
Posted by jemanji on 06/23/15
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. This is not a prediction that Mike Montgomery will win 150 games in his career.  Got it?  So relax, LrKrBoi29, unfurrow your brow, and ease into the moment. ....... So it was around 1980 when Dr. D first sat in the third deck and watched a left hand pitcher throw a "parachute" changeup.  From that vantage point, y'unnerstand.  (By the way, Dr. D is exactly Edgar's and Moyer's age, so it's not like 1980 baseball makes him a doddering old fool.  ... well, actually, it's a lot like that.  :: christopher walken pushing michelle pfeiffer out a window ::  But don't be too put off by the Kingdome... Read More
ah! Here we've been, lining our knuckles up!
Posted by jemanji on 06/23/15
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. 49-0 in football is kinda like 7-0 in baseball, if you consider a run scored to be like a touchdown.  Which for the M's it pretty much is.  But this is now several games this homestand in which the M's have scored 5+ touchdowns.  And, though it doesn't feel like it, they're an Elias game away from a plus score against the Giants-Astros-Royals.  An even score is already in the bag.  What do the Giants and Royals have in common? ... Yesterday we brought up the odd Mike Zunino batting average.  Today let's notice the odd Seth Smith slugging percentage.  It's .472.  You realize this is Safeco... Read More
Royals draw up game plan: to crush the M's like a pop can
Posted by jemanji on 06/23/15
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. Reuben Fine was a truly great chess grandmaster, and he was American, which is kind of like saying that the U.S. Soccer team had an artist like Lionel Messi or Mesut Ozil.  Doesn't happen in North America.  Anyway, the distinctive element in Fine's chess style was "precision."  His mistake rate was impossibly low; they say that playing against him was like trying to win Ping-Pong against a playback with the table folded up.  That was the feeling they described. So this one time he crushed a lesser opponent like a pop can.  The junior master stared at the last ten moves, over the course of... Read More
Two Thousand Ways It Won't Work, dept.
Posted by jemanji on 06/22/15
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. Success in the Sunday experiment would have cut deficit to -6.5 games behind the Astros.  Instead we are now -8.5.  On the plus side, we could have been down -12.5.  The 1995 miracle run that saved baseball was staged from -13.0 games back and was an electrical miracle unlikely to recur.   Two thousand mineral compounds have been attempted in finding the filament to light up the corpse.  As Dr. Edison said, that is 2,000 filaments that we now know to be useless.  Of course, this remark came from a mind so insane that it would publicly execute giant elephants via 6,600 volts of alternating... Read More
Win the battle, lose the WAR dept.
Posted by jemanji on 06/22/15
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. Dr. James has graciously given SSI permission to excerpt his site.  In the currently-public section of Ask Bill, he says . In the 1983 Abstract (first one I read), after describing baseball in the 1960s as "the most [desperately - jjc] boring brand of baseball ever conceived of," you wrote, "If I never see another Dave Nicholson, I think I can live with it." Do you ever have flashbacks in the current era while watching the likes of Mark Reynolds, Adam Dunn (especially thinking of his years with the White Sox) and Chris Carter? Asked by: BobGill Answered: 6/22/2015 Yeah, well. . .I... Read More
Now we're cooking with mani' oil
Posted by jemanji on 06/20/15
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. Haven't read a thing about Edgar's hiring, other than seeing it in the Shout Box.  On principle.  At SSI you know you're going to get a lot of naive shtick that misses a lot of obvious points, but at least it's not yesterday's soup warmed over :- ) .... If your reaction to this hiring was ANYTHING other than "HOW COOOOOOOL!" then you want to go home and re-think your life.  At least your baseball-viewing life. No, seriously.  You're a spectator.  You don't have to fix anything.  Your solutions are irrelevant.  So, unfurrow your brow.  There's a great game goin' on. ;- ) SSI hereby demands... Read More
1955. Ah, to have been young and a champion
Posted by jemanji on 06/20/15
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. 'twas an article that Bill James wrote, back in the early days, like 1985 I think it was.  He ran a billion computer sims of old-timey HOF'ers.  His interest was, "What are the outer bounds of what could be possible, given random chance?"  So he'd run a season's worth of Mays performance, and run another one .... you know, in season #247 there would be a 7-hit game.  In season #512 there would be a 201-RBI performance.  Or whatever. It would be a long, long time -- a lot of seasons -- in between truly shocking computer performances.  But when they occurred they would be completely... Read More
Robert De Niro are you talkin' to ME? Dept.
Posted by jemanji on 06/20/15
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. FILTHY McNASTY AWARD The Astros enjoyed the first pitch of the game; the Mariners enjoyed the other 251 pitches.  It took Elias and Zunino that one pitch to figure out a thing that you'd think was rather important: that the young, gifted Astros are GREEDY.  They lust for First Pitch Fastball Home Runs.  This epiphany had not occurred during any of the previous Mariner-Astro contests, but when a First Pitch Fastball Home Run had been the entirety of the game, reality dawned on the Mariners. Elias twirled his curve back door for strikes.  He spun it into the righties' back feet for garbage... Read More
Looking tastier after every "Quit Shot"
Posted by jemanji on 06/19/15
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. TOP TEN REASONS TO MAKE BLOOMIE THE NEXT MANAGER 10.  He definitely won't complain, criticize, or level accusations at anybody for making the move 9.  Inside Pitch said that Willie Bloomquist is like the smartest guy in O.B. (yes, really) 8.  Backup middle infielders and catchers are like 78.3% of all good managers (they don't try to justify "their style of player") 7.  You never know who's Bruce Bochy until you try 6.  He won't be playing Kyle Seager's position any more  6b.  He won't be playing any position any more  6c.  Nominations for #25 roster slot would be 7 names long 5.  Willie... Read More
Please. Here's my inner forearm. Just make it quick (SF 7, M's 0).
Posted by jemanji on 06/19/15
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. So in the 2nd inning, our #7 starter (or is it our #7 lefty?) was batting the Champs toof-and-nail.  The enemy had loaded the bases with 1 out, no score.  First Blood imminent, or, not. Mike Montgomery responded with a celery-crisp changeup to Joaquin Arias, inside, off the plate.  Arias KBIZLT'd a perfect fungo to Dustin Ackley, and it took a Major League effort to even put that pitch into play, fair territory.  But it was into play, fair, only as a clinical double play grounder, as if a coach had hit it to Ackley in the pregame warmups.  Way to go Mont-mi-go. Ackley had not played 2B in... Read More
Heavens to murgatroyd, that hombre was grooved in
Posted by jemanji on 06/18/15
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. MadBum and Felix came into the game #5 and #6 in the BJOL Starting Pitcher Rankings.  The shape of their performance triangles was neither tall/thin nor short/squat, but that of a D&D 20-sided die. Bumgarner's performance on the evening?  Heavens to murder-troyd.   The first time through the lineup it was 9 up, 9 down, 6 by strikeout.  This might have been done in the Clemens 20K game?  I dunno.  I do know that in boxing, you stop the fight.  In football, you start running the ball, eating clock, and playing for a 27-7 score.  In English soccer, you "park the bus."  Ten men into the... Read More
'tis good to be the King
Posted by jemanji on 06/18/15
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. STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS Everybody who had Felix on Mt. Rushmore?  Make It So.  And no further shouting until somebody has the Photoshop in hand. ..... We've mentioned before.  Felix doesn't look as brainy as Greg Maddux, doesn't look as tough as Clemens or Unit.  So we figger he isn't.  We figger wrong. He came in, ankle throbbing.  Walked 10 men his last 3 games (see why).  Pitching against a velociraptor.  Gave up two quick hits, both broken-bat. He put on his snake eyes.  This is a man with the spirit of a samurai.  He is the type of man who makes pro sports worthwhile.  No, we're not... Read More
'Mirror Image' clubs take turns winning by 4
Posted by jemanji on 06/15/15
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. J.A. HAPP A quality start, nominally.  6 IP, 3 ER.  Remember when beat writers used to guffaw about a "4.50 ERA" being quality?  I haven't heard that one in a while, have you?  It's like a 13-game hitting streak.  Some o' those games had .250 batting averages in 'em, but string together a quantity of such games and you're gonna be hokay. A Shandler Quality Start 4/5, in the sense that he had good Stamina, good Domination (K within 1 of his IP), good Command (walks half of his K), and good Mistake Avoidance (no more than 1 HR, and it Happ-ens that homer was kinda bad luck). At this point we... Read More
Seattle eats up da champs
Posted by jemanji on 06/15/15
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. No sooner do the Mariners utterly humiliate themselves against the Lastros --- > than they roll out in San Francisco and eggsecute the world champs gangland-style.  When they tell you to kneel down and put your hands behind your head, Buster, go ahead and grab a letter opener and slash your way out in style.  No, seriously.  Dr. D will cooperate with criminals right up until they tell him to get down on the ground; then he's going all SSI-nutso on their sorry keisters. 5 runs?  In a wind tunnel?  Against the champs?  With a pitcher in the lineup?  Vot next, a vinningk shtreak? . ARM-... Read More
Taijuan Walker no longer scared of ghosts?
Posted by jemanji on 06/15/15
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. Wow.  Taijuan did locate his fastball.   They tell you this all the time, that Shlabotnik or Cloude or Wolcott or somebody is "really commanding the fastball."  Rarely, it's true.  On Monday, it actuall was true for once. Taijuan seems to have a new little rock step.  He slides the front foot back to 1B about six inches, then slides it back into place, and then throws.  The effect?  The front shoulder stays tucked (except occasionally on the changeup).  The hitters see Taijuan's chest.  The moving parts are fewer.  Dr. D likey. If you're one of the rare lurkers who has not yet learned to... Read More
Sometimes all it takes is a hair weave
Posted by jemanji on 06/14/15
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. 2011 CARDINALS LaRussa's boys were -10 to the leaders in late August.  But they went from +5 to +18 over the span of the last five weeks.  Key contributors:  Albert Pujols, Lance Berkman and Matt Holliday.  Granted, they're not Cruz and Cano, but a middle of the lineup is a huge advantage in a pennant race. . 2003 MARLINS We've kicked this one around a bit.  Jeff Torborg was (reportedly) a dot-the-i's-and-cross-the-t's type; when the Marlins were 16-22, they replaced him with a guy wayyyyy too old to care about i's and t's (the 72-year-old Jack McKeon, of course).  But once the Marlins... Read More
Houston 12 (and counting), M's 0
Posted by jemanji on 06/14/15
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. Esprit De Corps noun - is-pree da kor  :: Feelings of pride in being a member of a group; a feeling of enthusiasm, loyalty, and devotion to a group among members of that group Dr. D, in one of his other writing gigs, so happens to be collaborating with a U.S. Airborne Ranger on the nature of challenge and commitment.  We trust you can fill in the blanks on that one.  The attitudes of pride, of camaraderie, of confidence, they're elusive.  Rangers believe that they are the best in the world at what they do.  I think they're right.  Try not to tick them off. ....... Every time you see another... Read More
Oldest trick in the book, it can still get the pernt across
Posted by jemanji on 06/14/15
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. "Still Life" art has been around since, oh, about the time the alligators were chasing the Egyptians back into the pyramids.  In fact if you want interesting Still Life, that's about how far back you have to go. Personally I never cared for "Still Life" art much, as it is based on the artist's own arrangement of life components as he wishes them to be.  I especially don't care for it as it pertains to postgame blogs, wherein the article pretty much consists of a simple description of what we all just watched. Life isn't simple, though, and nothing is absolute.  There are times when Still... Read More
Cross David Wells with Jayson Werth, whattaya get?
Posted by jemanji on 06/14/15
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. DR'S DIAGNOSIS The Montgomery Previously Known As Top-50 Spect has made his first three big league starts.  For us.  They were three lockdowns, right when we needed them, although they produced just the one win against Houston. Montgomery's K/BB don't support his 1.89 ERA, of course.  He's got 11 whiffs and 4 walks vs. 1 homer (niiiice!) in 19 innings.  On another blog you would read "small sample."  On this blog you'll be reminded that the couple of hundred pitches that Montgomery has thrown so far? are NOT representative specimens of the pitches he'll throw over the next ten years.  Or... Read More
Okay, you can stop losing now
Posted by jemanji on 06/13/15
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. STOPLOSS, adj. Finance  denoting or relating to an order to sell a security of commodity at a specified price in order to limit a loss Military  denoting or rleating to a policy of forcibly retaining members of the armed forced on active duty beyond their orginal agreed period of enlistment Baseball  making sure that silly slop doesn't happen, like Jesus Sucre pitching in the middle of a real baseball game, or having four passed balls in a row, or a routine 6-3 grounder turn into a 3-run homer, or seeing 8 runs in the first inning of a Felix start, or such like Entertainment  anticipating... Read More
Comin' right up: Fun Factor for three gamez
Posted by jemanji on 06/12/15
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. In the pregame show, a female fan wrote in "Is it just me, or are the Mariners not having any fun playing baseball?"  Possible answers to this unspeakably naive question: You do understand that they are in Cleveland, do you not ... ... playing an insanely early game after a night game... ... Filling a bunch of mileage on their leads-the-league chart Baseball players report to the office for 8 hours in order to ---> swing the bat five times If it were a question of stamp collecting, playing Rainbow Road, unicycling, or reading Seattle Sports Insider, then the concept of "fun" would come... Read More
You, me, and Bill makes three
Posted by jemanji on 06/12/15
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. Ask Bill is still only $3 per month to interact with Baseball's Aristotle.  Sign up rat cheer.  Two of this weeks' answers were (a) meaty, (b) Zen-like and (c) very relevant to the M's #60 and #72 picks: . What I meant to ask was whether there are MORE tall pitchers than there used to be. Maybe as we learn more about the game, baseball management has realized tall pitchers have an advantage over normal sized pitchers?Asked by: manhattanhiAnswered: 6/9/2015 ... ​I know that in the 1970s, when I first started working with player agents, I became aware (for the first time) that there was a... Read More
M's crawl out of coffin, as was inevitable
Posted by jemanji on 06/11/15
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. There has been a whole lotta shakin' goin' over the week or two.  Here's hoping for a few more. . M's analytical department shores up the sandbag bunker.  It was fascinating to hear Lloyd McClendon admit, a bit nervously, that "my analytical department tells me every day" that the hits are going to start falling in.  (We read that after we wrote it.  You knew that, right?    ... Right?) . ROBBIE CANO starts swinging the bat better.  It was almost the day after we argued it.  Forget the game... about a week ago.  First time up, the pitcher tried an inside curve ball.  Robby lunged, ready to... Read More
Indians can't find an approach vs Taijuan, Seattle Mariner
Posted by jemanji on 06/11/15
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. So here are the last three game logs for Taijuan, Seattle Mariner: Jun 10   6 ip  8 h   1 r   1 er   2 bb   6 k   0 hr   with 63/92k and 6/2 grounders vs flyballs June 3    8 ip    5 h   3r   3 er   1 bb   7 k   2 hr   with .150 BABIP May 29   8 ip  2! h   0 r   0 er    0 bb   8 k 2 hr   with 73/102 strikes If we're adding them up on our fingers and toes, or better yet b-ref'com's Game Log Summary Device gives our #5 SP's last three starts as: 22 IP 15 hits 4 runs 4 earned runs 3 BB 21 K More strikeouts than hits is an interesting concept for the hitters 1.64 ERA 71% strikes (46% is the... Read More
Unearthing the future, one stone at a time
Posted by G_Money on 06/10/15
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The Ms did something different for them: rather than slagging their top 10 picks in order to afford just a couple of expensive bats (DJ and Wilson one year, Jackson and Morgan another) they took pitchers on Day One who should fit the slot if not come in a little lower, and then took a couple of teen arms on Day Two to give us several options at improving our pitching depth and talent level.  Seemed nice, especially since most of our better arms are hurt or underperforming. Maybe the non-hitting gloves can come a little cheaper than slot too and give us a little money for Day 3.  I wonder who... Read More
The future is now... but appearing later
Posted by G_Money on 06/10/15

So here we are again, at that time of eternal hope while we're under .500 and praying for a miracle on the big league club - or at least a team that can be competent for 4 months.  But the draft is here!  The draft will bring us The Future, which has to be better than The Present because The Present is full of Annoying Capitalized Things as well as Rage, Precious, So Much Rage. And to that end, here's my personal breakdown on the Ms first two days of the draft.  Most of this is re-posted shouts, so if you were following along today there won't be a lot of new stuff here.  This is mostly for... Read More
We're doing 550 knots, tower. … could you please tell us in which direction
Posted by jemanji on 06/09/15
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. "Spatial disorientation" occurs when a pilot enters dark clouds and he can no longer visually see a point of reference.  A great deal of your thought involves point of reference.  By "a great deal of your thought" we mean "all of your thought."  There is no such thing as a human thought that is not a reorganization of previous observation.  Dr. D started his life by spitting up formula and he's made a handsome living at it ever since. Dr. D has been reliably told, by a pilot, that part of his training involved a "blackout" of the front windshield, followed by an inversion of the plane.  ... Read More
Plot spoiler - we're not gonna take it (12K games) any more
Posted by jemanji on 06/09/15
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. A'ight, youse mooks.  Let's see YOU win the internet, if it's so easy.  Eight years from now, when you're touching your Captain Picard Klatpin to place calls to each other from across the break room, they'll remember your ingratitude.  :: bah humbug :: We kid, we kid.  Tell us everything that needs to be better, starting with the shtick, of course.  Then smile nicely and ask what we take in our coffee.  Personally, I take 2500 mg acetominophen and a sprinkle of dandelion.  If you could hang a coffee drip for me, so much the better. . CliffsNotes, according to the first 25 or so words that... Read More
M's don't always make it easy, but ….
Posted by jemanji on 06/09/15
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 shtickShtik/ nouninformal  a gimmick, comic routine, style of performance, etc., associated with a particular person. "there are many great comics who have based their stand-up shtick on observational comedy" a person's special talent, interest, or area of activity."movies about ordinary women who do extraordinary things—that's my shtick" noun  very informal an exceptionally gimmicky and contrived act, devoid of style, associated with a particular person so insubstantial that he's fictional.  Sp. "shtick," never "schtick" or "shtik."   Watch this space for shtick posted shortly.  Watch the... Read More
Just how are his new troops doing?
Posted by moethedog on 06/05/15
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General Jack Z. has had a mixed bag this year.  At least in terms of the troops he sent to hit the beach. In his favor, he went out and got Cruz, Smith, Ruggiano and Weeks.  The Weeks signing was pretty redundant in light of getting Ruggiano, however.  I think we almost all agree that he complicated that issue by releasing the wrong guy, once he did release one. Cruz and Smith have been huge signings, as both have been VG-Ex bats. Where would we be without them?  Ruggiano was a decent bat, as well.  Weeks, not so much.  Z acquired Happ, as well.  Goodness knows that was a great move. So if... Read More