Earlier in the year, I razzed you pretty hard for considering a switch, but not anymore.
I've devoted (holy bananas!) twenty-six years of my life to the Mariners, and I can't see myself devoting another twenty-six. It just...isn't any fun. It's not that they lose, it's that they do not care one iota that they lose.
I am not averse to west-coast games...I am more of a night-owl than you. :) But, everything from California is tainted by...well...being in California...the only western teams left, then, are the D'Backs and Mariners...so...
Looking further east, I'd rule out the Rockies...they're like the Mariners but with the opposite extreme park.
All other AL West teams are definitely out...to long spent hating them with a burning passion to ever consider not hating them.
All teams at the top of the market food chart are out. That's the Yankees, Mets, Red Sox, Dodgers (already eliminated, but needed a mention), Giants, Nationals, Cubs, and White Sox at a minimum.
Anything not from the US is out because this is MURICA, dangit, and it's MURICA'S GAME.
The Orioles are out because the Mariners and Orioles had really bad blood in my formative years as a fan and I lived in Orioles country so learned to hate the Os.
The Braves are out, for me, because I don't like the way they treat their own city, think their handling of the international market STINKS, ethically, and didn't like that they had a national TV following for thirty years for no good reason.
I've been a fan of the American League style of play for a long time. I really hate watching pitchers make a mockery of this game with a bat in their hands and older sluggers mock the game by pretending they can still field. The AL game is prettier to watch and much more high octaine. That rules out everyone but...
Tigers, Indians, Twins, Royals. And I don't like the future for any of those guys...maybe Cleveland...they're an underdog like the Marienrs, but a competently run underdog. They're in a really...really...REALLY weak division. They have a young nucleus around which to build...
The natural second choice is the Phillies. I'd have to put up with it being from the inferior league, but the Phillies were my father's boyhood team and the first team I rooted for with any emotional investment in a world series, back in 1993. I have a family history connected to the franchise...and they're being run pretty well right now.
So...for me it's either Cleveland or Philly.
EDIT TO ADD: several of my college friends are Mets fans...so becoming a Philly fan would be complicated for me...LOL