Duda and Neshek
Dude? Sweeeeeet ....... if you're in NY, that is


B. Dutton (button?) points out that the MLBTradeRumors.com free agent list is out, and has predictions for the top 50 free agents.


PROPS:  Having one web page with the 50 most important hired guns, sweet.  Ranked 1-50, even sweeter.  Committed to terms and money, the sweetest yet.  You can't complain about anybody making a list.  Not unless you've made yer own, that is.  (Hint hint 'taters always tasty)


SLOPS:  We doubt MLBTR ever goes back and tracks their success rate.  Should some erstwhile Denizen find a place where they owned up, we're guessing that the list would nail, oh, 12 of 50 by sheer luck, half of those being no-brainers.


SLOPS:  First free agent on the list going to Seattle is Pat Neshek, #43 on the list.  Two years, $12MM, which is Scrabble money if we recall?  Neshek was dominant again this year, with 10+ K's and 0+ walks to go with an All-Star appearance.  He's 37; are sidearmers like LOOGY's on the ageless thing?  Anybody study it?


SLOPS:  Second FA on the list to Seattle is Lucas Duda on a make-good deal, 1 year, $6MM.  The Dude had a real bad elbow in 2017 and his value is in platooning I guess.  So MLBTR isn't even willing to begrudge us a Yonder Alonso type, much less a Logan Morrison (#15 on the list). But whattaya expect from a bleary-eyed New York sportswriter on a Friday, for him to send an exciting player out the West Indies of the majors never to be heard from again?


SLOPS:  Jarrod Dyson is only #42 and Michael Pineda is #49 being in a Drew Smyly-type cyrogenic tank situation.  Brandon Morrow (#19) would be highly amusing at 3/$24MM; do you figure he becomes the old Morrow the very nanosecond he moves into a less-than-championship setting?


PROPS:  for having the guts to put two batters ahead of the DATA starting pitchers, those being J.D. Martinez and Eric Hosmer.  Props also to Jerry Dipoto who, judging by his Alonso addition, might zig against the zag and go offense.  Hey, it's what we do in roto.  Bases gained, bases lost, babe.


PROPS:  Yu Darvish #1 for a pittance, 6 years $160MM which is really like 6 years $80MM once you deduct Ohtani's free performance, assuming the union ever signs off on a new NPB-MLB posting arrangement.

Arrieta for 4 years, Tanaka for 5, both at the $25 and $20 MM levels respectively.  Hey, with Tanaka you might get Ohtani and apparently (per MLBTR) you get yet another "free" year to tack on to Ohtani's.


Hey whadja expect, a Think Tank of this caliber to take a dartboard game seriously?  C'mon already.  The first Props up there is good enough, and any 'Denizen sees a target we should beat, then Dr. D will most surely enjoy reading the whys and wherefores.

Yonder Alonso (#22, obviously destined for the ...Angels?!) doesn't look so bad at all, if you're not going to actually use Dan Vogelbach (the guy you traded MIKE MONTGOMERY for) on a free, and redeploy the money to one of the DATA's.






I can imagine a Stan Freberg comedy routine:

"Uh, it's late, Chuck. The big shots are after me for that list. We forgot to assigned these two meatballs to a team."

"We did, huh? Uh, who ARE they, Howard? DOO-dah? (De Camptown Races suddenly breaks in and quickly fades out.) And Neck-Check? We gotta put 'em SOME place, and Gladys is expecting me home for dinner AFTER I stop for a brewski on the way."

"A BREWSKI, now ya talkin' ya big lug. So what teams do we have left that we can stick 'em on?"

"Well there's the team in Seattle that NO-body remembers anyway. The last time they won anything the Cold War was heating up! Get that, Chuck?! That's a GOOD one! COLD war...HEATING up!

"Yeah, yeah, now let's cut the small talk and get down ta bizness! You're right, though. That team in Seattle, what's their name again? Oh yeah, the Marinaras. Something to do with spaghetti sauce, I guess. Anyway, we got the Mariners here, who haven't done squat in fifteen years. Do ya think ANYONE will believe that someone wants to sign with THEM?!"

"Hokay, ya got a POINT there. But if you let your hair grow no one will notice! Will anyone believe someone wants to sign with the Seattle Marinas? I dunno, Chuck. It's just wild ENOUGH that SOMEBODY might buy it."

"Right, Howard. Let's get our story straight. We burned the midnight oil, ya know, churning through piles and PILES of information, statistics, rumors, team analysis, the whole nine yards."


"We interviewed dozens of GM's."

"Even the one in Seattle?"

"No need to go THAT far. NO one will believe we went out of our way to call...to call...how do you pronounce that? DIP-a-toe? Like when you test the water in the pool before stepping in to see if it's too hot or too cold?"

"No, it's die-PO-to. Like he's gonna kick the bucket a pauper or something."

"Who cares? Anyway, no one will believe we talked to him about his plans. After all, they're ir-REV-er-ant."

"That's ir-REL-e-vent."

"You BET they are."

"So we did our due diligence, and decided that these two meatballs will end up in the Marinara sauce. Presto! Just like THAT!"

"That's our story, and we's stickin' WITH it!

"So where ya stoppin' for a brewski?"

"Some place called Steinbrenner's. That place is con-NEC-ted."

"Connected to WHAT?"

"You don't wanna know."

(Cue band extravaganza, "Marinara, Mariachis, Marianas"  as an exit)



I'll have to dig into my Wayne and Shuster Shakespearian Baseball again ....

"And you three guarding your accustomed bags,

Stan the first, Bill the second, and Richard the third"

"Lay on MacDuff, but watch out for that breaking stuff!"

"To think he led the league in RBIs,

and now looks at the record book - and cries"

"So fair a foul I have not seen!

Ancient knave with heart as black as coat you wear upon your back,

get thee a pair of glasses, get thee to an optometrist!"

"Oh, what a rogue and bush league slob am I"

"The ball did strike his head. The pitcher beanéd him!"

"O horrors! Not only hitless, but witless."

"Now cracks a noble head.

Good night sweet catcher.

Flights of shortstops sing thee to thy rest.

Let four bonus players bear Rocky like a soldier to the dugout.

[Players lift Rocky]

No more shall Stratford see him play ball;

I’m trading the bum to Montreal."


Hanjag's picture

Last I checked Danny V. had 1 more option year remaining and could be stashed in Tacoma and take trial runs in Seattle prepping him to take over for Cruz after his contract expires after 2018. He can continue to work on 1B but most have him pegged as a DH only. If he has a 120 OPS+ or better bat as a DH only I would be fine with tossing a good BP guy for it. My off-season plan is simple I call it add 4. My 1st quest would be to sign Darvish and Ohtani. Darvish-Pax-Ohtani-Felix-Leake is play off worthy but I would settle for Lynn, Tanaka, Cobb, and a few others as beefing it up. 1 of the LoMo, Alonso level guys for 1B. Finally, I think Mitch Haniger is an allstar level performer and and Gamel Heredia give you a high floor speedy 4th OF types a Lorenzo Cain gives you the Tori Hunter athletic center fielder that should age well. With the raises and departures I guesstimate 40 Million available to match last years pay table - 13M (Ruiz, Valencia, Dyson)

- 10 to 15 M for Kuma, Smyly would have been 11 or 12 M if healthy, and Gallardo was about the same.

Seager gets a big raise 8.5, Zunino and Paxton will probably get 2-3 Million more each so guessing we have about 40 million in assumed salary.

I am guessing we could get the 4 for a 16 million per year average

Darvish 6/160 fine 27 M average

Ohtani 20M to sign and then mlb mininum right so let's divide the 20 and spread it over 1st 3 years 7.5M average. He woulod also get the max bonus so 5-10 Million for 

Cain was a 5.3 WAR guy on B-ref fueled by a 112OPS+ bat, + baserunning, + CF defense they say 4/ 70 I guessed 5  for 80 M

I believe Shannon reported that there was mutual desire to re-up with Alonso and I think he could be had for short term they say 2/22 for LAA I guessed a 2/24 in Seattle 

So the 4 guys add 62.5 but 40 or so wasaccounted for by the losses so a 22.5 M dollar raise over last years payroll. 



He's more like "prepare yourself for Lynn or Cobb" because, goodness me, what would THIS team need with an impact starting pitcher?

... in between warnings that we better prepare for a lonnnggggg wait in catching up to the Astros' talent pyramid... :- )


For the younger set, Freberg and W&S were contemporaries in the 50s and 60s who did essentially a long form stand-up comedy routine. Newhart and Cosby started the same way a little later. 

I recommend you google these guys and listen to some of their stuff. Some is 50s/60s topical, but a lot is really funny today - just put on your "Mad Men" persona and go for it!

Also, try a little Tom Lehrer, a musical counterpart.


Like any subject, the best way to understand it is original source material.

With that in mind, the first Bill Cosby I ever heard was his comedy album, "Bill Cosby Is A Very Funny Fellow, Right?" You can listen to it here if you wish.


The first Stan Freberg I encountered was his classic parody of early U.S. history. It is not to be missed.


The Other Billy Zoom's picture

Well orchestrated Dr. D.

Very nice solos from DaddyO and Bats.

Please note Mr. Cosby was a DJ on AM Radio KING during the year of the World's Fair in Seattle as his albums sailed nationally and TV followed.

I was overfed on Freberg as a sit-in prof from the world of advertising addressed aspiring copywriters how to write radio commercials:  "They must be humorous, Stan Freberg is Deity, and you will be graded accordingly." 

Nonetheless, one of the aspirers created one of the most  successful ad agencies in Seattle, and his career far outshone that prof.

It spawned my approach of "Garbage Disposals That Love To Be Fed" (not that unlike internet blogs these days), for which I got an "F" ... and that was my response to that  prof.

Shakespeare, well, I'm quite sure he was an anonymous pinch-hitter who was on and off the 40 man roster.

As for MLTR stats:  Lead writer Tim is coming off an injury, and he wasn't that hot when he was healthy.  This is just sour mash for the pre-winter meet junkies.  Do not bet a penny (let alone a million or two) on it.

Darvish will not top the money list, even with the Oh Oh Tawny connection, and, if he has two more years like this past one, I'm guessing he will return to Japan co end his career ... so I still want him (or his backup duo of Tanaka or Arietta.

Ichiro could be involved in all this ... if you like longshots.

No other bets on any of the names on this list ... DePoet will make a trade more likely.

He will be all in on Otani, and get him, whatever it takes, without going to $190 mil, which will not happen.

But there will be plenty of intrigue and some of it will involve the ML union and owners and arm wrestling.



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